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loraine555

Learning to be Non Judgmental: A Key to Positive Change

Updated: Jul 8

It's pretty easy these days to state our opinions and judgements - whether it's on social media outlets or in a conversation. We hear them so often that it has become a way to express ourselves and our opinions - almost a competition of who can come up with the most harsh thing to say.

Three young adult women looking in a store window as a dog stands at the end of a leash, waiting to move on.
Three young adult women looking in a store window.

We have strong opinions about everything! From style, pets, politics, traffic, child care and discipline, food and diets, cars, vacations, you name it!


Everything is open season for an opinion. Most of us sit back and judge it against our likes and dislikes and what is important or not important to us. We have become a people about "us". Everything is relevant according to our little world.


Before social media, our judgments were mostly from and in conversations about TV programs, and news. We were more tuned in to local news, weather, family, and happenings close by.


Now we are more globally aware of the news, traumas, wars, hatred, murder, and all the negative news. We seem to have lost site of the good in people and are pretty much surprised when we do run into real people. There are people that care about others and choose to help someone versus just walking past someone in need.


I have found myself excited and surprised to find groups of people on social media platforms that have genuine, helpful, and kind people in them. That seems to be a sad statement that we have come to expect the worst in people. We label them: "the people you see at _______(store)" and the people that are "always on ________ (social media)" giving their opinions and judgments about anything and everything.

Mirrors above an escalator in a mall show a skewed world.
Mirrors above an escalator in a mall show a skewed world.

In our pride of being "non judgmental" we are actually carrying out that judgmental thing! That's the funny thing about judgments. The more we do it, the more it becomes normal and we don't realize that we are doing it!


What does it mean to be judgmental?


Cambridge Dictionary defines it as: "tending to form opinions too quickly, esp. when disapproving of someone or something".


Merriam-Webster: "of, relating to, or involving judgment; characterized by a tendency to judge harshly."


There seems to be a negativity connected to jumping to conclusions too quickly and not taking time to collect enough data to make an informed decision.


We have become a society of people being LOUD and OPINIONATED and JUDGMENTAL.

It really is a part of life, and we learn how to do this by watching other people. People close to us. People at school. People at work. You know - wherever you are!


By learning the definition of what "judgmental" is - we can also learn (or conclude) what we can do to become "non judgmental"! Fancy that! That's how we turn the negative into a positive!


So what is the opposite? Gathering more information, look at it, compare it to the situation, and then keep our mouth from saying something it shouldn't! There you have it! Non judgmental.


And the best way to unlearn this pattern is to surround yourself with good people. People that you want to be like. People that encourage you to be better. People that understand the value of helping others and make it their purpose in life. Choose the people that are good influences in your life. Choose.


Bottom line, that's it. Choose. Choose to be kind. Choose to not always give your opinion. Choose to help people.


Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. KJV


James 3:10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. KJV


Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. KJV


It will do you good, my friend, to watch (be aware) of the words that come out of your mouth. It takes time to turn this (rudder), but it can be done with awareness, persistence, choice, and perseverance! Go for it!



 

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